A friend of mine is in his mid to late 30’s and he just accepted his first professional job. He didn’t get a late start. He didn’t take time off. He has spent the last 30+ years of his life preparing for his profession. Let me say that again, over 30 years in school learning and practicing his trade.
That seems incredulous to many people. That’s 18 years AFTER High School. 18 years. For what? To be a neurosurgeon. He has his MD and PhD.
This has included:
- Four years of undergraduate school with a triple major
- Eight years in med school getting his PhD and MD
- Six years of residency for neurosurgery
- One year of fellowship
He has a family with three kids and he is just now getting started officially practicing his trade.
Think about the value he’ll be able to add to people’s lives. Performing life saving surgeries on the most critical and delicate components of our body.
If anyone was going to touch my brain with a knife, I’d sure want them to have that much training and experience. I’d want the smartest, most well trained, disciplined experts in the world. I’d feel pretty comfortable knowing that they had 19 years of training and experience before touching my brain. I have no problem with them making loads of money either.
So let’s think about this for a minute. For those of us who are not doctors, that career path appears daunting.
I’ve watched some friends go through the medical doctor training process. The process is not easy, but it’s not terribly complicated.
So how do you think this was actually accomplished? Many small things done consistently over a long period of time.
In primary education you build a foundation of math, science, reading, and writing.
In undergraduate, you learn you start to focus on biological sciences.
In medical school, you learn about medical care and deeper into human biological sciences
In residency, you learn the specific craft as an apprentice.
But when you break it down and look at what they’re doing each day, we can learn from their path. We can learn about vision and discipline. We can learn about taking the long path to achieve distant goals by taking one step at a time. We can learn about the value of sacrificing something in the present for something more in the future.
Let me repeat, becoming a doctor is not easy. It takes a long time, and requires smart disciplined people to make it through the process. I don’t believe that everyone should become a doctor. If you think this is about how to become a doctor you’re missing the point. It’s a story we can learn from on how we can achieve something that seems distant and hard. It is about taking it one decision after another. It’s about cultivating discipline so we can improve as human beings.
You want to be more flexible and have better mobility. Our connective tissue takes 210 days to turn over. That’s at least 7 months of stretching everyday.
You want to lose 30 pounds. That’s 4-12 months of making small consistent sacrifices at every meal.
Say we want to learn a foreign language, become a project manager, or just be a better father. You have to do something everyday to move those forward.
Set a goal, learn what it takes, develop a plan, and then start taking one small step at a time and don’t stop.
Fatherhood is a similar marathon. We all have ideas of what we want for our children when they grow up. We want them to have a strong moral foundation. We want them to positively contribute to this world through discipline and selfishness. We want them to find happiness. Not the fleeting happiness from an ice cream cone, the fulfillment of making the world a better place and by connecting deeply with other human beings.
To get there, it’s a long road that shouldn’t be taken lightly. But it also needs to be viewed through one step at a time. Start by reading with your child, telling them that you love them, disciplining them regularly to learn our social constructs. Be present, not on our phones or watching TV, but there, right next to them. Listen to them. Watch them. Teach them and show them how to set and achieve goals. Teach them and show them how to help others. Show them how to love and be loved.
Raising children to become independent adults requires a lot of discipline and patience over a few decades, not unlike becoming a neurosurgeon. You just need to take it one step at a time.