Becoming a Father is Helping me be a Better Man

Becoming a Father is Helping me be a Better Man

I have wrestled with some tough questions lately and it is positively affecting my well being.  I’ve allowed myself time to reflect, to learn, and to try some new things.  I’ve started to accept and process some of the hard answers I heard.  

And it’s working.  These moments of choosing to change are important to my personal well being.

Choosing to fall in love with my wife, propose, and then marry her is such a moment in life.  Recognizing the need to lead by example to father my sons is another.

These moments are deep, rich, and transforming.   And I’m convicted about what I’m discovering.  By going deep, by engaging my heart, soul, and emotions, I was able to decrease my tolerance for the status quo.  Beneath the surface a fire started that increased my expectations for myself.   I hungered for something more.

While I experienced a few of these deep moments recently, what has really caught my attention is a slow trend of progress in many important areas of my life.

Have I achieved all of my goals?  No, but what is important is I’ve made progress. I’m growing in many areas of my life. This new trend of progress has come on the heals of my some deep soul searching.

Here is a list of areas that I’ve noticed some improvement over the past year or two:

  • Better sleep
  • Reduced stress
  • Proactive medical care
  • Flossing regularly
  • Simplifying material goods
  • Limiting information inputs
  • Mobility and injury prevention
  • Making time to play
  • Weight Loss
  • Less selfish
  • Better diet
  • Success at work

Let me be perfectly clear.  I have a long way to go in all of these areas.  I want and need to continue to improve them.  But I’ve started and I improved, and that is something worth celebrating.  I’m better off now because of things that fatherhood has asked of me.

I had to look myself in the mirror and realize that what I see there is going to be studied and emulated greatly by my children.  Just the act of trying to get better is exactly what I’m currently asking them to do as children.  I’m telling them to read, learn something, and try new things so why wouldn’t I do the same?

There’s the rub.  We spend approximately 20-25 years raising and developing our children to become independent.  This requires them to constantly learn, grow, try, experience, stretch, test themselves, and learn from the results.

So to be the best father, I need to be an example of this and act this out.  And then and only then, after trying to serve my children by being a good example, do I get personally rewarded.

I didn’t dive into this philosophical transformation out of selfish intent, but out of a deep desire to be the best father I could be.  But while doing so, it required me to step up my game and become a better man.

So, to my two beautiful boys, I thank you for helping me become a better man.

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